A MASOCHISTIC MIND: GATA MEETS SIIICKBRAIN
GATA meets force of nature and multi-faceted, creative powerhouse, SIIICKBRAIN in the wake of her debut album, My Masochistic Mind—a sonic palette of destructive experiences turned new.
In a world that places stock on the value of conformity and not rocking the boat, embracing one’s true identity and chasing an uncertain future of creative endeavours is not always the easiest of choices. Multi-disciplinary artist, Caroline Miner, better known by the name Siiickbrain knows only too well the strength of will that it takes to push against the mainstream.
Growing up in North Carolina—a state deep in the south of the United States—shaving your head or coating your body in ink just wasn’t the thing to do. In a stifling environment that was seemingly dousing the flame of creativity, Caroline suffered from anxiety and agoraphobia; her solace coming from a passion for makeup and the rebellious sounds of her brother’s music collection. In the years that followed her art has acted as a form of therapy, healing emotional wounds and proving the age-old adage that “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”, or at least provides some amazing creative fuel.
Since 2020 Siiickbrain has been making a name for herself in the music scene, with a blend of sonic experiments that have drawn influence from artists such as Death Grips, Deftones and Suicideboys. Her sound is instantly dark in tone, saturated in wrangled, pained vocals, yet underneath the high octane and heavy sound there is a intimacy in the lyrics, revealing a soul not afraid to get in touch with her feelings.
In 2023 she released her debut studio album, My Masochistic Mind—further developing the dark pop sound she has been cultivating. The record also saw experimentation with pitch-shifted vocals and electronic-sounding beats.
GATA was lucky enough to get the chance to talk to the artist in the wake of her debut album, chatting about fate and destiny, learning from destructive behaviour and rebelling against the “norm”.
GATA: Hello Caroline! Can you briefly introduce yourself to the GATA family?
SIICKBRAIN: Hi! I’m Caroline; some people call me sick or sicky, and I’m an artist living in LA.
GATA: How did you come up with the name “SIIICKBRAIN”?
SIIICKBRAIN: Siiickbrain and Caroline sometimes feel like such opposite characters while other times I feel as though they’re quite interchangeable. Siiickbrain is typically a little more unapologetic and fearless, while Caroline is soft and vulnerable. With my new project coming out, there’s a lot more of Caroline showing though.
GATA: Your conservative background—which you've extensively referenced in your songs as a factor in your mental health challenges—has played an integral role in shaping your identity; how has this background influenced you as a creator?
SIIICKBRAIN: Being raised in such a limiting environment has really shown me what I do and don’t like in society. Feeling the judgement and isolation of a southern conservative town can really make you want to rebel against the “norm”.
GATA: After enduring the challenges on your difficult journey, do you believe in fate or destiny?
SIIICKBRAIN: Absolutely. I think at some point in everyone’s life, if they practice whatever they truthfully feel is being “a good person” throughout any cards they’re dealt, then what they feel they’ve wanted most in life will be theirs without a doubt. But that being said, it truly is a journey and hard work. Nothing is maintained without focus and effort.
GATA: Music—like any other form of creativity you engage in—is rooted in the emotions you've experienced in the past. It takes us back to our deepest secrets and memories. How do you feel during the creative process?
SIIICKBRAIN: I find writing lyrics to be extremely cathartic. Often times, sessions that I write about, deeply personal things, can be a lot mentally, but it also helps me organize my thoughts and have a better understanding of my own emotions.
GATA: The track Silence has resonated with many people, and we are no exception. What do you hope fans will take away from listening to this track?
SIIICKBRAIN: I wrote Silence in 2020, being one of the first songs I wrote and released in 2021. The chorus stating “Love is violent, that’s why they call it blindness”. At the time I was in a very different place in my life, indulging in many things that were toxic. What is so ironic when I listen back now, after not listening for quite some time, the chorus states that I was blind. My current partner is actually the person I made the song with which I had no idea that we would be together in the future. At the time I was blind to what was literally right in front of me.
My next project is all about experiencing the purest form of love. I hope that when people listen to this song you’re asking about, they understand it comes from a toxic and chaotic past, and without experiencing that, they won’t have the deep appreciation for pure love that I now do.
GATA: Your persona is complex; the way you express yourself in videos and pictures is bold and fierce, yet still very feminine. Is there anyone who inspires you?
SIIICKBRAIN: I’m currently very inspired by Michele Lamy, my stylist Lyn Alyson who continues to push me creatively, and my friends.
GATA: What was inspiring you (art, movies, music, etc) while you were making My Masochistic Mind? How did it seep into the sound of the album?
SIIICKBRAIN: I was really inspired by Death Grips during the process of creating the album; vocally, and in terms of production. Also, Trent Reznor was a big influence during the process.
GATA: We’ve heard that you have agoraphobia. If you could walk us through your day, what would it look like? What do you like to do to unwind?
SIIICKBRAIN: Luckily, I’ve had it under control for a while but still deal with pretty severe anxiety that comes and goes. I think incorporating self-care into my day and doing what feels good while maintaining a workout regime. Staying in tune with how I feel and adjusting accordingly is also really important, along with therapy.
GATA: We are huge admirers of cinema; have any movies in particular inspired you in your life or career as an artist?
SIIICKBRAIN: One of my favourite films is The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, aesthetic wise it has also been a pretty big influence for me.